happy birthday wishes
Funny Birthday Wishes

Funny Birthday Wishes and Jokes

Pranker always gets it

new additionEnjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we’ll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.

by Dulce Griffin, LA

new additionMen age like wine, women age like cheese.
new additionSo many candles, such a small cake. Next year, may your birthday wish be a bigger cake.
new additionHappy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!

by Cristopher Blackwell, KY

new additionHmm … I do not know why, but I had a strong urge to send you a text message! But why? I know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
new additionIt has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
new additionLike many women my age, I am 28 years old.
new additionYou’re a hard person to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday.
new additionNo wise man ever wished to be any younger than he was.

by Emmy Neal, CA

new additionThe older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
new additionRemember when 50 seemed old? If you weren’t so old, you would!

by Justin Booker, NM

new additionI wanted to give you the best birthday greeting ever…but this card was all I could afford. Happy Birthday!
new additionMy birthday gift to you is the call to the fire department when you blow out your candles. You’re welcome!
new additionSmile and laugh as much as you can while you still have teeth.
new additionSome say the glass is half empty. Others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, so just drink whatever is in the glass.

by Alexia Pacheco, NY

new additionHave you ever try to get yourself in a fridge and see what happens? It’s ok you can light up all your candles now? we all have a glass of water in our hands.
new additionHappy Birthday, but what’s your secret; a time machine or something.
They say that you can count your true friends on one hand. I’ll bet that you can’t count your birthdays on the other. Happy Birthday.

by Krista Careym, NE

It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

by Julien Glenn, WA

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
1066, 1492, 1776, and…your birthday? The good news is that they aren’t teaching the date of your birth in history classes yet. The bad news is that means I don’t have the date memorized. Happy belated birthday!

by Kason Villanueva, ME

(written in real small text). You’re not old until you can’t read this writing any more.
You get a lot of birthday wishes … But this is here for the love!

by Kylee Brock, ID

Happy birthday to a man who is really younger than he looks.
I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.
You are as old as you look.
Congratulations on your birthday! Remember: Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!
I always forget your birthday, and it’s not my memory that makes me; it’s that plastic surgeon of yours.

by Amiah Mercado, VA

I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth!

by Dexter Drake, DE

Another year older, but unfortunately none wiser.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it, forget about the future, you can’t predict it, forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

by Bryan Browning, LA

What? You don’t agree? That’s strange. You’re the perfect example.
You are only as old as you act.
I’m just here for the cake.
Despite all of the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
Can you sniff all of these candles or should I call the fire department?
Another year for your back means another year that won’t suck.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.
When little kids ask how old you are at your party, you should go ahead and tell them. While they’re distracted trying to count that high, you can steal a bite of their cake.
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
You age like cheese… You just keep getting smellier!
Have fun as much as you can, but not too much, because you are in a vulnerable age.
I’m not going to make any age related jokes, because in fact I feel a little pity about how old you are.

by Elvis Colon, AL

Someone once said that a true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. I remember both. Shouldn’t that count for something?

by Bryce Morrow, NM